A funny term that. "Cold as balls." Due to my Animal Science Major knowledge I can confidently inform you that the balls are 4-6 degrees Celsius cooler than body temperature. But that still doesn't fully explain the phrase cold as balls, unless the balls are about 23 degrees Fahrenheit which seems to be the common temperature here. Cold weather usually makes me feel slightly worse, so I make myself do things. Any things. Cuddling with the dogs, drinking warm tea, watching T.V. Ya know. Staying reasonably warm in this unreasonable cold weather. Today however, I decided to punish myself, or that's how my body perceived it, and went running. I know, I'm a glutton for punishment. But I didn't go alone, I took my dogs too. Mainly so they wouldn't do something like destroy my couch, or garbage can. (In the past three months I've gone through 4 phone chargers.) And all three of us got to hate every minute of it. I may still have frostbite. But, at the end I got some absolutely delicious Chic-fil-a and the dogs got some sausage thing that I am sure they found equally delicious. Kinda if-y first post, but I guess that the way things go.
Message of the day - Depression is either a weight that can pull you down with it, or you can throw it over your shoulder and haul it around with you. You are not weaker for dealing with depression. You are strong, you are brave, you are an inspiration. Even if you are laying on your couch doing nothing, you are here. You may not think you're dealing with it, you are. You're here.
Someone very important to me said this to me when I first told her I had been diagnosed, and was receiving treatment. I remember feeling so ashamed talking to her. Telling her how weak I was. I felt like if I was a better person, stronger, it wouldn't have happened. I was better than that. I had read about depression, but that couldn't happen to me. I was wrong. My friend doesn't know this, but after she told me that. I cried. I cried, and I cried for the longest time because she didn't think I was weak and pathetic. The last thing she said to me during our conversation was, "Sarah, I'm proud of you. I'm proud to be your friend." Now I am proud of myself. And I am proud of all people dealing with this medical issue. Never forget, this is a medical issue. This is not your fault.
